Sunday, March 18, 2012

To my Leaky Old Boat

Darling, you are the love of my life. You are always the prettiest girl at the dance, and you've always been there for me when I've needed you the most, but we need to have a little chat.

Now don't get me wrong, I would never jump ship and leave you out in the rain, but you need to stop leaving me in the rain. Why is it you refuse to stop leaking at your mast boot? I've already bought you three rolls of boot tape, I don't know what else to do. Must I continue to shower you with gifts and get no better treatment in return? And your portholes... Darling, you have to stop letting water in at your portholes. I have to get some sleep ya' know? I come home from a long hard day in the sun and all I get from you is "drip, drip, drip." Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make things better, but we can't keep going on like this!

You can be so high maintenance sometimes. You never say it, but I can tell by the hum of your bilge pump that you want more attention. It's as if you are constantly reminding me that if I stop caring you'll be gone. I already know that. Don't be so insecure, just because you are getting a bit older doesn't mean I don't want you any more. You're perfect for me. I'll even promise to stop glancing over at that Extreme 40, she's not my type anyway.

I hope you don't take this too hard, I only want to make things better between us. Besides, you'll feel a lot better once you stop leaking anyway. I know what will make you feel better, how about tomorrow we spend the whole day together and I'll take you out for some new sail covers?


  1. love it Rob - you are a classic x

  2. Perfect entertainment for my third twelve in a row at the hospital Rob!

  3. Oh man, this just makes me howl. I love it! Spoken like a true sailor.


  4. Just stumbled here. We're in the process of selling a Cheoy Lee Clipper 42, and we've had the same discussion with her over the years. Made us laugh.